The Case of the Missing Chick and lot’s of Gay Penguin Poker Face, try and beat that. At least there’s no pointing or hitting with Homo Penguins, they can barely even flap their wings.
The Copenhagen Penguin Chick was reportedly chick-napped while mum was bathing and dad was ignoring it. Too busy looking at the reflection of himself in the glass – BUSY BUSY.
Zookeepers at Denmark were left confused but not at all surprised, mostly they’ll just say it’s some “Danish thing” – NO not like how you’re all Bi-sexual, it gets very confusing – pick a bloody side please – I didn’t know who I should be jealous of – too hard basket.
They did however say it was unusual the chick-napping, because it was the gay penguins. Apparently most Gay Penguins are Bitches and just roll the eggs or baby chick into the water when no one is watching.
Sandie Hedegård Munck, ( < exactly, imagine trying saying that 10 times a day..) who works at Odense Zoo where the serious gay penguin predicament took place, told Danish publication DR that it didn’t take long for her to “see that there was something wrong.” (yep, missing a giant fluffy bird from between my thighs, pretty sure you’d notice that gone – you’d hope.)
She kept talking because Danish people do that (shhh end of conversation now shush) “The only parent couple was gone and the kid had simply been kidnapped. There were a couple of ‘homosexual males’ ( watch out for those Homosexual Males ) who had snatched the kid and stood with it.” ( Good Gay Penguins, Neighbourhood Watch – then chuck that baby chick in the pool when no ones watching )
Munck’s still yodeling: “I think the female has been out to get her bath, so then it was the male’s turn to care for the kid. “He may have left, leaving the Big Gay Penguin Couple to think: ‘That Baby Chick Grey would look great as a Winter Hat‘”
Munck’s yodeling continues “while the mother desperately searched for her missing chicky babe, the father was fairly nonchalant throughout the whole ordeal – DGAF “I know that the female is very caring for her baby, she is also very aggressive to the Keepers if we get too close. “So I could not have imagined she would have left it.”
Side Note: Think rather than speculate Danish Zookeeper, we should be interrogating that Daddy Penguin Herdi Gerdi – Where the fuck were you Mate?
Even without that good for nothing father, Mum Penguin Gerta Herta quickly pinched her penguin chick back.
While these Danish Gay Penguins may not have got their new Grey Baby Chick fluffy hats for Winter, the eager beaver parents were given an abandoned egg by zookeepers to raise and care for…. it’s not the same if it’s not stolen.
Wait, I’m assuming baby penguin chicks need a mummy penguins milk right? hmmmmm ‘abandoned egg’ Poof vanished into thin air..
Sassy Gay Penguin duo just be looking around with their Poker Penguin faces and their very nice new grey hats, nothing to see here..